My Top 10 Christmas Movie Quotes

Okay, this was a difficult list to make. I LOVE Christmas movies, and so narrowing it down to just ten movies was hard enough. But then I decided to choose only 1 quote per movie. Many of these movies have many quotable lines, but I stuck to only the best of the best and, in some cases, the most classic lines. And yeah, some of these are technically TV specials, but what're ya gonna do.

So here we go. These are in no particular order.

     Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?  

    Christmas Vacation (1989) This movie is full of classic lines - many of them ones I know by heart from watching it so often! If you've never seen this movie, you're seriously deprived - it is THE funniest Christmas movie ever, hands down. There are so many classic moments. "SQUIRRRRRRRREL!!!!" - Just one example. But the above quote comes at the climax of the movie, where the main character and family patriarch, Clark Griswold (played by Chevy Chase) snaps after finally getting his much anticipated "Christmas bonus". Ah, the holidays.

   The old man stood there, quivering with fury, stammering as he tried to come up with a real crusher. All he got out was...  
   Naddafinga!

   A Christmas Story (1983) Yet another classic movie chock full of quotable lines. It was hard to pick just one from this movie. "You'll shoot your eye out, kid." immediately comes to mind, of course. But I just had to go with the father's reaction to his "major award" being destroyed beyond repair. The whole lamp saga is my favorite part of this must see holiday staple. If you've somehow managed to avoid seeing this movie, um, TBS? 24 hours of it starting on Christmas Eve? Seriously. No excuse.

   Didn't I ever tell you about bumbles? Bumbles bounce!

   Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (1964) I'm actually watching this classic TV special as I write this. Love, love, LOVE this one. I have tons of figures and ornaments based on the characters in this beloved Christmas staple. Yukon Cornelius is my favorite character - and he's the one who gives the line I chose to quote. The "bumble", of course, being the Abominable Snow Monster - post dental work.

   You sit on a throne of lies!

    Elf (2003) This movie may be only 6 years old, but it's an instant classic. Again, soooo many quotable lines. "I love smiling. Smiling's my favorite." Will Ferrel is hilarious and endearing as Buddy  - a human who managed to accidentally sneak into the North Pole as a baby and wound up raised by elves. It's a movie I have to watch every year. The ending always puts a big smile on my face. I wish they made more Christmas movies nowadays in the same spirit as this one. Anyway, the quoted line comes from Buddy when he confronts a department store Santa. It's a scene you really should see for yourself, if you haven't already.

   And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day. And then - the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two!

   How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) Yeah, I'm talking about the classic, original cartoon version that was made for TV - not that horrible Jim Carey movie that I couldn't stand watching for more than 10 minutes. Dear god, that was an abomination. Anyway, I absolutely love this version, as well as the original book. I know large portions of it by heart. I used to own Grinch hats and t-shirts and all that crap. I have a much loved stuffed Grinch that's comes out every holiday season. I'm sure everyone has seen this special. The quote I chose comes from the ending, and it pretty much speaks for itself.

   Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to. Don't you see? It's not just Kris that's on trial, it's everything he stands for. It's kindness and joy and love and all the other intangibles.

   Miracle on 34th Street (1947) Again, I'm all about the originals. Remakes. Bah! Humbug! Anyway, this movie is another classic, of course. It's timeless. And, of course, I love it. It's just a movie with a great story before the days where special effects took over. The quoted line comes from Doris Walker, played by the beautiful Maureen O'Hara, who has spent her entire life teaching her daughter to view things realistically - that there's no point in make believe or believing in things you can't see. But after meeting Kris Kringle, the man she hired to play Santa at Macy's, she begins to see the world in a whole different way.

   Look, Daddy. Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.

   It's a Wonderful Life (1946) The movie the studio tried to kill by releasing it in summer, believe it or not. They thought it would bomb. Well, little did they know they had produced one of the best Christmas movies of all time. Like many of the other movies on this list, it's a classic, a classic that's been parodied many times. It's a wonderful story with a feel good message. The line I chose is, of course, a classic, from the very end of the movie. Atta boy, Clarence.

  This is my house. I have to defend it.

   Home Alone (1990) If you grew up in the 90's, you've probably viewed Home Alone many, many times. To kids, this movie definitely fulfilled some fantasies - being alone and having a house all to yourself. All of the tricks and traps Kevin sets up are awesome. Seriously - my favorite is still the part where Kevin makes it look like there's a party going on using his Michael Jordan cardboard cutout and some mannequins. Anyway, this is another movie chock full of great quotes - but I felt this one summed up the movie. Kevin says it right before the burglar's start their break in.

   Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! When I get home, I'm getting a CAT scan!

   The Santa Clause (1994) Okay, probably not a classic to most people, but I really enjoy this movie. It's clever and always enjoyable to watch. Tim Allen plays Scott Calvin, a man who accidentally becomes Santa Claus after the prior Santa dies on his roof Christmas Eve night. He then must cope with the fact that he's now Santa, and his young son won't stop telling all the unbelieving adults about it. My quote comes from Scott after he finishes delivering the gifts on his first reluctant Christmas.

   If they'd rather die, then they had better do it and decrease the surplus population!

   A Christmas Carol (Done soooo many times!) I love A Christmas Carol - I don't like Dicken's books, but this one is fantastic. I'm sure everyone knows the story here, so I'm not gonna bother rehashing it here. But Scrooge is a pretty quotable guy, and I never met a version of this story I didn't like, so it was impossible to pick a particular movie, and I had a tough time picking just one quote. I ended up settling on this Scrooge-ism, mostly because it's really the most evil thing he says. Enjoy your ghosts, jerk.

In case it wasn't obvious...I really love Christmas movies! And these aren't my only favorites. What are some of your favorite Christmas movies and quotes?